Top 10 Tuesday

Greetings, Imbolc blessings, and happy Lunar New Year. I hope to continue on this string of good weeks and good feels. Below are ten things that brought those good feels this past week. I hope you're well and if you're not, I hope you will be.

Robert Bly's book of poetry "Loving a Woman in Two Worlds"--Robert Bly is a well-known name and I strictly knew him as a very literal translator of poetry but of course he has written many of his own original books. I particularly loved this book. As trite as some love poems can be (especially in these times of insta-poetry), this book was a lovely glimpse of Robert Bly as a lover. Here are two of my favorites.

Ferns

It was among ferns that I learned about eternity.

Below your belly there is a curly place.

Through you I learned to love the ferns on that bank,

and the curve the deer's hoof leaves in sand.

*

Such Different Wants

The board floats on the river. The board wants nothing

but is pulled from beneath

on into deeper waters.

And the elephant dwelling

on the mountain wants

a trumpet so its dying cry

can be heard by the stars.

The wakeful heron striding

through reeds at dawn wants

the god of sun and moon

to see his long skinny neck.

You must say what you want.

I want to be the man

and I am who will love you

when your hair is white.

Unwellness--This is strictly my point-of-view. Many people struggle with their mental health. I sometimes share my mental health situations with people in order to healthily unload or empathize. Don't worry--I'm okay right now. But may I say that I am tired of hearing the narrative that some aspects of unwellness is a "super power"? I understand the sentiment behind it, but as a person who gets this sentiment quite often, it's not very empowering. I particularly don't feel "super" when my mind renders me into a person with adolescent toils and racing thoughts. I don't find it "super" when I'm taking a small, misinterpreted form of communication or body language and letting it destroy my present moment and thus the rest of the day or week. There's nothing super to my personal experience being empathetic and feeling things deeply (except for the times when I can help others). Sure, I can render my feelings into creative things but I think I'd rather trade that in for the coolness and normal-ness of someone who can function as an average person. Besides, when I'm unwell, I don't have the wherewithal to use it in a healthy way. I use it in destructive ways. Mental health unwellness is just shitty. It's shitty. Say it with me. It's shitty.

The Kindergarten Teacher--Considering that I just watched Maggie Gyllenhaal's film "The Lost Daughter", I wanted to check out this movie in which she stars. I noticed a lot of similarities between the main characters in both films: unhappy, wayward, academic women who lose their way while navigating life and professional fulfillment. I can understand how "The Kindergarten Teacher" may rub viewers the wrong way which is precisely why I enjoyed most of the film. For those of you who are interested but not that interested to google it, it's about a kindergarten teacher who hones in on a student's prodigal ability to verbally compose poems (much like Rumi) while in a trance-like state. Clearly unsatisfied with how her own teenage children turned out (totally normal teenagers), she puts all her energy into protecting and encouraging the five-year-old's intriguing talent. It leads to an unhealthy obsession (not pedophilic, but some may beg to differ) with protecting his talent at all costs.

Kaki King--I was listening to a podcast where the host interviewed Kaki King, an instrumental guitarist. She's very talented and you should check her out if you're into that kind of stuff.

"Passwords" by William Stafford--I revisited this book this past week because I love it. One of my favorite poems from this book is "The Day Millicent Found the World". But as I get older and revisit the book, I admire something new. Here's a poem of such:

Signs at Our Place

One chair has this desk across the arm

that swings to let you in, and a writing

pen with tiny "So help me God" etched on the nib.

Over the calendar in the kitchen there's

a reminder that says, no matter the page,

"It is today."

One handle we always pull when we leave,

but we've never known why. It is in the hall,

and says, "This is for everything."

"Billie Holiday" by the band Warpaint--Discovered this song this past week. In fact, I'm listening to it now. Even though the lyrics are recycled for the most part, I'm drawn to it. What can I say? I like listening to women sing. You can listen below.

"When I Grow Up" by First Aid Kit--Here is another song I discovered this past week that I love and it really resonates with me. I don't know if it's the calling out to nature or the dependence on someone outside yourself--the waiting for them to reach out or hear your call. I don't know. It's good. You can listen below.

"Self Portrait in Apologies" by Sarah Einstein--I forget how I came across this essay while on the internets, but I enjoyed it considering that we live in times of severe demands for apologies. You can read it here.

Game Night--Brian and I recently hosted a game night in our home with some friends from our respective jobs. Homemade pizzas were inhaled and games (Clue and Yahtzee) were played. As a loner, I am often taken aback by the idea that people want to spend time with me. It was a good time for these times. The dogs were thrilled with the company.

Archive 81--This is a show (one season) I watched on Netflix the past week. It's a slow burn and unfortunately when the mystery unraveled throughout the season, I lost some interest--similar to when I realized that the show "Midnight Mass" was about vampires. I enjoyed the performance of Mamoudou Athie's very sober performance. He smiled, I think, once. I found his gentle handling of VHS tapes very comforting.