Top 10 Tuesday

First of all, I want to thank everyone who has been supportive and sending peaceful vibes to my family and me. My sister is still hanging on--I'd like to know what the thread is made from.

Despite it being a very difficult week, I managed to find light and cheer in all the down-time I had. I hope you enjoy.

Thank you.

The Top 10

1. "Catbird" by Mary Oliver

He picks his pond, and the soft thicket of his world.

He bids his lady come, and she does, flirting with her tail.

He begins early, and makes up his song as he goes.

He does not enter a house at night, or when it rains.

He is not afraid of the wind, though he is cautious.

He watches the snake, that stripe of black fire, until it flows away.

He watches the hawk with her sharpest shins, aloft in the high tree.

He keeps his prayer under his tongue.

In his whole life he has never missed the rising of the sun.

He dislikes snow.

But a few raisins give him the greatest delight.

He sits in the forelock of the lilac, or he struts in its shadow.

He is neither the rare plover or the brilliant bunting, but as common as grass.

His black cap gives him a jaunty look, for which we humans have learned to tilt our caps, in envy.

When he is not singing, he lis listening.

Neither have I ever seen him with his eyes closed.

Though he may be looking at nothing more than a cloud it brings to his mind a several dozen new remarks.

From one branch to another, or across the path, he dazzles with flight.

Since I see him every morning, I have rewarded myself the pleasure of thinking that he knows me.

Yet never once has he answered my nod.

He seems, in fact, to find in me a kind of humor, I am so vast, uncertain and strange.

I am the one who comes and goes, and who knows why.

Will I ever understand him? Certainly he will never understand me, or the world I come from.

For he will never sing for the kingdom of dollars.

For he will never grow pockets in his gray wings.

The blue words were my favorite in the poem. So often do we discredit animals due to their "inabilities" to perceive the way we do. They did not invent the wheel. They did not put God on the dollar. I can't help but see those as virtues, though. Mary Oliver--one of my favorite poets--is so refreshing when she celebrates these virtues.

2. A Walk with Daisy Mae My parents have a golden-doodle named Daisy Mae. A couple months before I took home my beloved Silas, I babysat Daisy Mae for a few weeks while my parents were on vacation. She was just a pup and by the time I took her back to my parents', she had already spent more time with me than she had with them. We developed a wonderful bond, I taught her to hike off the leash, and she was just a lovely companion. I certainly miss her and feel like when I visit, she remembers those days we spent together. When I got out her leash a few days ago, she got so excited. We didn't go for our usual hike, but for a neighborhood walk in the six inches of snow. When she was a puppy, I would let go of her leash and just let her walk and she would take the handle of the leash and walk herself. Well, she still does it! It's so charming. I adore her. We took a walk down to the Allegheny River which was covered in jamming ice. At first, I thought that I heard animals walking down by the river, but it turns out the sounds were of cracking ice! It was a marvel.

3. A Little More from Mary Oliver

"I am thinking now

of grief, and of getting past it;

I feel my boots

trying to leave the ground,

I feel my heart

pumping hard. I want

to think again of dangerous and noble things.

I want to be light and frolicsome.

I want to be improbable, beautiful, and afraid

of nothing,

as though I have wings."

4. More Moviegoing So, this past week, I saw two more movies because why not? First, I went and saw "The Shape of Water". It was an interesting love story between a human and not-so-human (merman? fish-man? creature from the black lagoon?) that definitely goes there. You know what I mean. Yes, you do. I like that it went there, though, as taboo as it sounds. This film reminds me of the French film "Amelie" with its symbolic colors (fifty shades of teal, etc.), the mesmerizingly shy and quirky main character who lives alone, pursuing her simple passions, visiting her neighbor, who also happens to watch a lot of TV whilst painting at his easel. I can't be the only one who made these connections. Ah, and I just Googled it! I'm not the only one to think so! But I did enjoy the film--not as much as I enjoyed "Amelie". Although there was some lovely music in the film, it doesn't match the score of "Amelie", composed by Yann Tiersen. Also, the cinematography is not as remarkable.

This past week, I also saw "Three Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri". This is the best film I have seen since I received my MoviePass (how I'm able to see so many movies without throwing money away) in November. Although the ending is controversial (I don't know this from research; I know this because my fellow movie-goers gasped "noooo...." at the end, disappointed). But alas, this film is serious. This film is violent. This film is gritty. This film is hilarious. This film is brutal. This film is heart-breaking. Go see it. Oh, and one of my favorite things about going to the movies is seeing the previews. There were some amazing previews with this movie.

5. "Running with Scissors" by Augusten Burroughs I have been listening to audiobooks. I finished this audiobook yesterday on my way back home to Altoona. It's a memoir about Burroughs' adolescence which consisted of a mentally ill mother and his displacement into her psychiatrist's household. The stories are fairly bizarre--the "bible dipping", the turd-analysis, etc. Yeah. It's interesting listening to an author read their entire work aloud. His voice--I didn't like his voice. It sounded pretentious and with every bizzare-o story, I couldn't help but leer at the radio in my car and say, "You're full of shit, right?" Turns out he might be somewhat full of shit, though.

6. Pacific Northwest, Here We Come! Brian and I booked tickets for our grand adventure to Oregon and NorCal. I am very excited and ready to learn, see, do, and feel all the goods. The great thing about anticipating this trip is all the fun researching I'll be doing. 144 days to go!

7. Hiking on the Rachel Carson Trail While I was at home with my family, I got antsy and needed to get out for a while so I decided to go for a little hike on the Rachel Carson Trail. Rachel Carson lived just a few miles away from my childhood home, back when Springdale was more rural. In her honor, a 35 mile-long trail was created and named after her. Along mile 15 or so (if going north to south), the trail summits Bouquet Hill, overlooking downtown Arnold and New Kensington. It's the best view on the trail. It's so high up, you have look down to watch the hawks ride on thermals.

8. Macrophotography I've been having fun with a little macro lens attachment and taking pictures of all things tiny and textured. Can you imagine your surprise and/or response if you saw rhinoceros-sized wasps or stink bugs?

9. Susan Wooldridge's 'Opening Shots' I am slowly reading Poemcrazy by Susan Goldsmith Wooldridge. She starts off a chapter by talking about these things called "opening shots". You know, the opening scenes you see every day that serve as a remarkable threshold to a thought, an idea, a story, a poem, etc. And these opening shots can be anything as long as you give it meaning. Waking up and watching your hands resting gently against the mattress. Peering into the hot coals of a bonfire, an orange rivulet in a coal looking like a river of lava. Anything at all. I think there is so much to say about these opening shots.

10. An Excerpt from Temple Grandin's "Thinking in Pictures"

"The Lord's Prayer was incomprehensible until I broke it down into specific visual images. The power and the glory were represented by a semicircular rainbow and an electrical tower. These childhood images are still triggered every time I hear the Lord's Prayer. The words 'thy will be done' had no meaning when I was a child, and today the meaning is still vague. Will is a hard concept to visualize. When I think about it, I imagine God throwing a lightning bolt. Another adult with autism wrote that he visualized 'Thou art in heaven' as God with an easel above the clouds. 'Trespassing' was pictured as black and orange NO TRESPASSING signs. The word 'Amen' at the end of the prayer was a mystery; a man at the end made no sense."

I love this for many reasons. I love that I can rely on the narrative of the book from which this quote came--Thanking in Pictures. Temple Grandin isn't hiding her autism. She is able to provide concrete explanations because that's how she thinks--concretely. Nuts and bolts. Literally. This woman who thinks in pictures was able to imagine all of her work--down to the nuts and bolts--before it was physically created. I am also just in awe of the literal-thinking mind. When I write, I dabble in loosely related metaphors and muse upon words--as abstract as they can be. I know that "Amen" means "so be it" and that it's not the statement "a-man". And aesthetically, I love that this passage ends with "....a man at the end made no sense."

I'm amused that this top ten list conjures up creatures and other-worldliness in my mind. Life-sized insects, literal-thinking brains. A sly, pocketless bird, pecking at a nickel, thinking it's water.

#toptentuesday